The Labels We Accept.

The subject of “labels,” keeps popping into my thoughts a lot lately, so I thought I would start typing, and see what comes out. The labels I am so affectionately referring to <<insert sarcasm here>> are the ones that have been imposed on us, as well as the ones we impose on ourselves!  They  started, most of the time, before we were even born,  often change from time to time, and  are ongoing throughout our lives.

The first label is our name, which was given to us by people we just met, our wonderful parents!  Having the pressure of being labeled as parents-to-be, they probably spent a lot of time over the nine months while we were incubating going back in forth with each other,  reading many lists, trying to come up with the perfect name/label to capture in one word our title that we would be known as for the rest of our lives!

So, our first label  started with a lot of pressure to get it just right and we have continued refining that decision by self-imposing many sub-labels to ourselves. It started innocently enough.  As babies, we began doing things our parents liked, like crawling, saying incoherent words and then semi-incoherent words, onto actually speaking, eating, walking & going potty by ourselves. They loved all of that and gave us praise.  Those labels of praise were the effective labels that inspired us to do more of what we were told, which we labeled as good.

These helped us grow and begin to create the life we are meant to live.  These are not the labels that need explaining to understand what they do or don’t do when we adopt them.  Let’s label these labels, for lack of a better word, the “good” ones!

The ones we seem to need help with are all the other labels. These are the ineffective ones we accept, believe, and, consequently, try to live up to or down to. In most cases, we are unable to live up to them and that’s what causes problems.  The label itself is not bad or good; it’s the energy we put behind trying to  live up to those labels that causes challenges. Even calling ourselves a human can bring with it issues, of  what is it to be human!

Who decides what a “good” human is supposed to be like?  Many people would say God tells us through his word what a human should be.  I agree with that, insomuch as the word of God is the word that is in us all and it is our purpose in this life to figure out what God/universe is saying to us.

It does not matter what our parents, teachers, friends, family, media, politicians, religions or even we ourselves say about how or what a good human should act or be like.  It is up to each individual to find and learn for themselves, not what a human is, but what we all can BE!

Simple fix… don’t label yourself as anything.  Just live and enjoy what you are. Let everyone else try to figure out what that may be!

Being Comfortable with the Uncomfortable!

Happiness often begins with first being a little uncomfortable.  

Whenever you’re in a situation that feels uncomfortable to you, that feeling is coming from one of two places: either your soul communicating to you or your ego self communicating at you.

There are three general reasons why you would feel uncomfortable.  The first is the normal human response to danger… fire is hot, look both ways before crossing the street, don’t trust this person, etc.

The second is from the ego self, which stems from what I call false fear, which is a fear of something that is not true. This false fear mostly arises when we are assuming. When we assume, we usually assume the worst about some situation or person.  Have you noticed 9 times out of 9 we are wrong?!  Simple fix… stop assuming anything about anything!

The third type of discomfort also comes from our ego and is another type of false fear. It arises when we want to do something healthy for ourselves — physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Example: you want to work out to get in shape & lose weight, so you start thinking about how you really need to do so and decide you are going to start today. Then, the ego voice says, “You didn’t sleep well enough last night, so you probably won’t have a good workout.  Why not wait until tomorrow?”  That tomorrow turns into next week, next week into next month, and now that ego voice says, “You are too out of shape to work out; it will be too difficult; it’s much easier to lift the phone and order a pizza, followed by a big bowl of ice cream!”

If you are not comfortable with a little un-comfortableness when it first appears, it can spiral out of control!  The key is to determine what kind of discomfort you are feeling as soon as it arises.

The first kind is legitimate and pre-programmed. We use to keep ourselves safe; that one is obvious.

The second stems from assuming and we know now that assuming makes no sense.

The third one is a little tricky but easy to overcome, if you catch it as soon as the un-comfortablness arises. Once you do, you just have to determine what it stems from.  If it is something that is good for you, like exercising, eating healthier, reading, spending more time with loved ones, etc., then you should now see clearly that the tiny bit of un-comfortableness is well worth the payoff!

Funny thing about starting something new or making changes to something old — it always seems harder at first and then, after actually following through with the changes, you soon realize how easy it really is.  Secret to living a happy comfortable life… notice when the ego is talking, ignore it and move forward with what feels right!  Follow your heart/gut/soul/spirit/God, whatever you call that indescribable good feeling/intuition we all have. “It” will never let you down!

 


Foundation of Your Life.

Starting your day with a positive expectation is the foundation for the rest of your life.

Your first thoughts after waking set in motion what you are attracting to you right at that moment and what you attract at that moment sets out more intentions to God/universe to receive more of what you just experienced.

It’s like this… if you wake up to a loud alarm clock and think or actually do throw it across the room, mumble a couple expletives, then you have put out the request to receive more to curse about. You may now get up and smack your knee or toe into the bed post, find no toilet paper in the bathroom, run out of coffee, can’t find your keys, car won’t start, late for work, boss chews you out, you tell the boss off, lose your job, lose your spouse and on and on!  Now that was a little extreme, especially if it happened all in a day, but it does happen all the time —  it’s just spread out over months and years.

So starting your day with positive expectations is extremely important, unless you don’t like your job and spouse! Assuming that you do want to keep both and even enhance your experiences with them, setting the positive expectation for the day  starts before you fall asleep the night before.  It is difficult for most of us to wake up all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, instantly expecting great things to happen.  The key is setting that intention just before falling asleep.

While lying in bed, review the positives of your day with gratefulness, then intend to wake up refreshed with the expectation of something unexpectedly positive happening to you in the new day.  The key to that powerful bedtime ritual is having the feeling of gratefulness and combining that with the intention of something unexpected. The gratefulness will attract more to be grateful for.  The unexpectedness leaves it open for God/universe to give you what you “really need” and not what you may think will do the trick.

It is powerful and works extremely well, but don’t take my word for it!  Prove it to yourself; you will be glad you did and so will everyone else in your life!

P.S. Let me know about all the Awesomeness you start attracting in your life.