Worthiness… where it all begins!

I last wrote about Integrity, describing it as the glue like quality that keeps us stuck to our decisions and when those decisions are positive ones, they will lead us to a successful life.  Worthiness, then, is the base ingredient in that glue of Integrity. Without it, there is no bonding of our will, decisions, and actions to produce success.

The wonderfulness of  worthiness is one of the most awesome and effective things you can ever feel and, conversely, worthlessness one of the worst.  Let’s get the worst side of it out of the way so we can then concentrate on the wonderful.

Some people take their lives because they feel so worthless and, sometimes,  they are the last people you’d expect to be unhappy.  Look at Kurt Cobain & Michael Jackson.  Both were successful in the music business, rich & famous. You wonder, “How could they  feel worthless? They had it all and must have felt proud of their achievements.”  Unfortunately, their feelings of worthlessness overshadowed everything else, which ultimately resulted in their deaths — Kurt by suicide, Michael by long-term drug abuse and, finally, overdose.

I always find it so hard to believe when people with so much outward success and talent self destruct.  Some don’t end their lives, but instead  destroy their lives with drugs, abusive relationships, or ridiculous stupidity, that  is incomprehensible to most of us.  The truth is that when you’re famous and successful, the media amplifies all your faults and distributes your personal business globally and almost instantaneously. Although they do it grandly and in a well-publicized manner, celebrities are not the only people who self destruct. People from all income brackets and walks of life are not immune to self destruction. They are just more likely to go unnoticed.  I believe that for celebrities and people from all walks of life, feelings of worthlessness affect all areas of their lives, especially the big three:   Finances,  Weight Loss/Health, & Relationships.

Why do some people feel such a sense of self-worth that they are confident enough to create fascinatingly successful businesses and wealth, like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Donald Trump?  It’s not that they are any different from anyone else as far as actually being worthy.  We’re all on the same ground, all created equal. It’s definitely not looks! You won’t see this bunch on the cover of GQ, unless the magazine is featuring an article about money.  Hair definitely doesn’t matter; look at Donald.   There are ton’s of rags to riches stories, so it’s not that you need to start with a lot of  money.  What you need is to have the thoughts and belief in the fact you are worthy of being successful, before you actually see the results of success.

Weight loss, being healthy and physically fit, most of us seem to have a lot of trouble with this one.  The good thing is this is the one in the big three that you have complete control over, no one else involved other than your ego.  Being happy with your body is a major springboard for happiness & success in all areas of life, so it’s a perfect place to start.  When you feel good about the way you look, that feeling helps you with self-confidence and gives you motivation to improve other area’s of your life.  The issue again… why it’s so hard for some to become fit?  It all stems from a lack of worthiness.  When you totally feel worthy of  having the body & life you want, you will do what it takes and create it.

Love relationships, this one can be the most difficult, especially if you are lacking in the other two biggies.  When you don’t have a good job or your career  is not going well and you are unhappy with your body it puts extreme pressure on your relationship’s.  You will tend to rely on the other to fulfill what is missing in those other area’s of your life, which doesn’t work well at all.  You have to fulfill you!

Also, because you don’t feel good about yourself or have the finances to get out, you may start feeling like you’re stuck in an unhappy dead-end relationship. Then, if you add children into the mix,  it makes it feel like it’s next to impossible to do anything about it.  Some resign themselves to it and think, “This is the way it has to be,” suffering through it all and living unhappy lives.  Others self medicate to dull the pain, which is like putting a Band-aid on a wound that never heals.

At the root of all this unhappiness, from the most extreme expression of taking your own life, to less final examples like gaining weight, staying in a bad job or marriage, or simply just settling  for a mediocre existence, is a lack of worthiness.  It does not matter how rich or famous you are, if you feel unworthy of the things you have, you will not be happy.  The opposite is also true.

So you have to ask yourself, “If I don’t feel I am worthy of a happy life, who is worthy then?”  No one is any more or less worthy than YOU! So, please, if you think you don’t deserve to be happy in all areas of life, start today by realizing that you are wrong!

The more you truly believe that you deserve to have happiness, the more happy you will be.  It’s that simple!  Not easy, but simple, and worth the effort required to embed that belief.  You see, we create all beliefs by the thoughts we continue to think most.  So to start creating the life you want, you must  continually remind yourself that you are worthy of it. The more worthy you feel, the sooner you will live the results of your new beliefs.

It’s time to get selfish, the healthy kind that says, “I matter and I am going to do what it takes for me to be happy, because if I am happy, I can help all others around me do the same.” Only by being what you wish to see in others will you be able to effectively help anyone else. You attract what you are being & feeling. That emotional energy attracts people, situations & things to you, that will assist you in what you desire.  If you are giving off non-worthy vibes, you will simply attract more things into your life to feel not worthy about.

Start by envisioning  what you want — the body, job, career, relationship, or whatever is most important to you now.  See it in your mind; experience it like you are watching a 30-second movie of which you are the star; feel what your desire actually will feel like; then put those thoughts into words and continually repeat them to yourself and soon you will be living that starring role!

 If you always expect the best out of yourself and life, you will get it!  You deserve to have it all. Never forget that! 

Integrity… the Key Ingredient to a Delicious Life.

Will power, decisions, choices, actions, habits —  these are the steps that create the life you see and experience.  Integrity is the overall quality that makes it possible to live the life you desire.

I have been thinking a lot lately why one person is successful, but another person with equal capabilities fails. What accounts for the difference?  I see this disparity in everything, from weight loss, relationships, career to overall happiness in life.  Take weight loss/fitness, for example. For the most part,  we all start on almost equal footing. It’s not a money issue: it doesn’t matter how much money you have, because exercise is free and the less you spend on food, possibly the better.

Why then do so many people have a problem with losing weight while others don’t?  A lot of people say it’s due to the lack of will power,  but I say that’s not the case.  Will power is just the first step;  it’s our true selves/soul communicating with us to make a positive change.  Most of us listen to that inner soul talk and have the will to want to make the improvement it suggests. It’s after that first step that people start getting tripped up.

Others will say it’s lack of motivation:  not having written goals, emotional eating,  lack of portion control,  too busy to eat right or  not enough time to exercise.   All just excuses. Excuses are nothing more than lies we tell ourselves to temporarily alleviate the guilt we feel when we avoid good habits, allowing procrastination to set in.

I believe what holds most people back from doing the things they know will bring success is integrity!  I’m referring to the quality of having personal integrity, seeing yourself as worthy of being happy in all areas of life.  When you see and feel worthy of losing weight and being fit, you will do what it takes to accomplish your goal.  That also goes for getting out of a dead end job or an equally burdensome  current love relationship.

It really applies to all areas of life big and small, like being dependable when you schedule time with friends, giving to charity, spending quality time with family, avoiding cheating on your taxes, etc. (Sorry that last one should have nothing to do with this topic)  Some say integrity is doing what you say, even when no one is watching. Really,  it is far greater then that and it begins with our inner self talk.

Basically, when you hear that calm inner voice that just feels right,  it guides you to the best decisions about your current situation.  That voice is the soul speaking.  When we listen to that voice and say, “Yes, I am going to make a change,”  that is our will power urging us to make a decision. These decisions become positive choices about the actions we will take. In due time, those actions become habits which will create a new reality.

Integrity is the glue that hold it all together.  It will keep you stuck to your decision, help you make sound choices, give you the energy for your actions and create effective habits that will put you at a happy place in your life.  To have the glue of integrity, you must feel you truly deserve and are worthy to be thin & fit, successful in your profession or loved & happy in your relationships.

Worthiness is the foundation of integrity. Add that to passion and you have the perfect recipe to make your life what you want.

PS. When someone is lacking integrity, they probably don’t feel worthy in that area or circumstance of their life.

God/Source creates all living beings worthy of enjoying every thing life has to offer.  It’s up to You to make that true!

The Big Question of Life…

Is not the biggest question of life, “How do I become happier?”  I mean, to keep it simple, isn’t that what we all want?  It’s even written in The American Declaration of Independence:

“All men are created equal, That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, That among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The life and liberty parts are not issues for most of us; the happiness part is clearly a different story.  Most of us tell the same old story: we don’t actually seek happiness, but instead seek the best ways to avoid the negative. The Declaration would be more applicable if it read: “The pursuit away from negativity!” Think about it! How many times have these questions crossed your mind?
Why are some people so negative all the time?

How do I deal with negative people or situations, so they don’t bring  me down?

How do I live or work with a grouchy negative person without wanting to kill them?  (a little drastic, but I bet it has crossed your mind a time or two)

There are three ways to approach these situations. The first option is the easiest to do and works instantly… escape!  Get away as fast as you can. Run for your life! This method is simple, fast, and effective, especially for short-term relationships, such as someone you just met in a business or personal situation, a friend of a friend, etc.

Although the negative person is still negative, you won’t be subject to it anymore.  That’s why it is great for someone you will hardly ever see or never see again. Escape is also sometimes appropriate for a long-term relationship that is beyond repair. Sometimes, it is better to part ways, allowing each person to have a clean start in a different direction. This is a judgement call best made after the next two methods have been tried.

Because we have long-term relationships, escape is frequently not an option. We need to delve into how can we be happy around the not-so-happy people that are in our lives and are likely to remain in our lives, such as our spouses, family members, friends, and co-workers.  These situations are more difficult to handle and leave us with two basic options: confront or let it be!

First, let’s tackle confrontation.  When you confront someone for being negative, it is like flipping a coin. You basically have a 50% chance to come up heads (where you both win) or tails (where the confronted person becomes angry, increasing their negativity.) Be careful about how you approach your confrontation. If you confront someone because you just can’t take their negativity anymore, your frustration with them may come across as a personal attack, which causes defensiveness and denial of the negative behavior. As a result, no positive change occurs and the negative person basically goes on ignoring your “helpful” observation of their attitude.  (Just a little sarcasm on that last part)

If that flip of the confrontational coin lands heads up and they are receptive to their “unknown to them” negativity, you may trigger an awareness, which alone may be enough for them to work on changing their attitude.  I have found that most people who are negative don’t realize they are. If you are able to point out their negativity with their well-being in mind, without frustration, it can create big attitude changes, as long as they recognize that they want to be happy.  Unfortunately, some people don’t care and that’s when the first option (escape) may be the best choice for you.

The last and most effective option that works well with all types of people and in most situations is to let it be!  This is often the best option because if unhappy, negative, depressed, miserable people knew how not to be unhappy, negative, depressed, miserable people, they would be.  I’m not trying to assign blame. It is what it is, which does not release either party from responsibility.  First and foremost, you have the responsibility to yourself to do whatever it takes for you to be happy, in every situation. Likewise, other people are responsible for their own situations. Their negative behavior is for them to deal with, not you. You can only control how you react and, when you react to negativity, you give it power.  As it has been said, “They know not what they do,” so react accordingly. Don’t take it personally!  Whatever someone else is angry, negative, or depressed about is not about you.  It is about something going on within them.  Because they just don’t know how to deal with it, they project outward to whoever is closest, which gives their negativity more energy and actually validates their unhappiness!

The best anyone of us can do in any situation is our best, no more and no less. Although you have the options to escape from or confront a negative person, in many cases the best approach for your own well-being is to let it be. Stay calm, give the negative energy no power, ignore it, and take the steps that you need to for your own happiness as soon as possible.

The most powerful response to anything negative is no response at all. Great power is in the silence of the mind!

Once you realize the fact that everyone is doing the best they know how to at this moment, all your relationships, big & small will change!

All negative thought-feeling is not real, only seems real because we give it our energy-focus. Let it be, let it go, let in the good

When you forgive someone, you are not releasing them, you are releasing your self from negative thought & emotion!

Foundation of Your Life.

Starting your day with a positive expectation is the foundation for the rest of your life.

Your first thoughts after waking set in motion what you are attracting to you right at that moment and what you attract at that moment sets out more intentions to God/universe to receive more of what you just experienced.

It’s like this… if you wake up to a loud alarm clock and think or actually do throw it across the room, mumble a couple expletives, then you have put out the request to receive more to curse about. You may now get up and smack your knee or toe into the bed post, find no toilet paper in the bathroom, run out of coffee, can’t find your keys, car won’t start, late for work, boss chews you out, you tell the boss off, lose your job, lose your spouse and on and on!  Now that was a little extreme, especially if it happened all in a day, but it does happen all the time —  it’s just spread out over months and years.

So starting your day with positive expectations is extremely important, unless you don’t like your job and spouse! Assuming that you do want to keep both and even enhance your experiences with them, setting the positive expectation for the day  starts before you fall asleep the night before.  It is difficult for most of us to wake up all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, instantly expecting great things to happen.  The key is setting that intention just before falling asleep.

While lying in bed, review the positives of your day with gratefulness, then intend to wake up refreshed with the expectation of something unexpectedly positive happening to you in the new day.  The key to that powerful bedtime ritual is having the feeling of gratefulness and combining that with the intention of something unexpected. The gratefulness will attract more to be grateful for.  The unexpectedness leaves it open for God/universe to give you what you “really need” and not what you may think will do the trick.

It is powerful and works extremely well, but don’t take my word for it!  Prove it to yourself; you will be glad you did and so will everyone else in your life!

P.S. Let me know about all the Awesomeness you start attracting in your life.

 

Why You Are AWESOME!

Awesome!  Awesomeness!  You are Awesome! 

I love that word.  I guess it might have something to do with growing up in the 80’s, where  it seemed to become very popular, but for me it has stuck. I’ve recently been accused of using it too much and that’s what has spurred me on to write about it!  I use it for several reasons:   one is because “good” seems to be the new okay and okay the new not so good, but the main reason is it’s the absolute truth.

Definition: awe-some  [aw-suh]  adjective 1. inspiring awe: an awesome sight.

We are ALL an awesome sight! We  ALL come from inspiration, which means: in – spirit.  We have labeled ourselves as humans, but that’s really not what we are.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  It’s the same with our names:  we are not our names, they really are just our personal labels and  given to us by people we just met.  We are truly awesome, but most of us forget that fact, so I like to remind people as much as possible of what you really are. My hope is that if you hear it enough you might just start believing you really are awesome.

All growth and positive change happens through some kind of  positive reinforcement.  Nature does a great job on her own.  It’s us “humans” that need it the most.  So, please  everyone, you are truly AWESOME.  Believe it, it’s the truth, keep telling yourself  often and one day, all you will see is Awesomeness every where you look!

Just remember all words are not the thing itself (example: The word orange is not the color or fruit) Words are just signs that point to what something is.  It’s the energy we put behind the words we say that matter.  You know the saying… It’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters and what matters most is the talking that is going on between your two ears. So what anyone say’s to you, is really for them to deal with, what you say to and about yourself to yourself is what counts!

Our most effective way to live an Awesome life,  is simply to observe our inner talk, let it be, and focus on something that makes us happy.  Why not focus on being AWESOME?


Who’s blocking me to be one with my Lover?

SHE is so beautiful that once you see her, you won’t look at anyone else!

HER voice is so sweet and melodious that once you listen to her, you won’t hear anything else!

SHE is so sweet smelling that once you feel her fragrance, you will be unable to smell another!

SHE is so sweet in taste that once you taste her, you won’t taste anything else!

SHE is so soft and tender that once you touch her, you won’t let her go!

So Felt I, and I went after her..

I LOVE HER so much and SHE LOVES ME too

Our LOVE is deepest in depth and broadest in breadth

Our LOVE is strongest in strength and the softest of soft

I want to be one with her and SHE wants to be one with me!

Then you may ask “who’s blocking you??”

I asked this question to myself, 1001 times.

And I got the same answer “It is ME and ONLY ME, who’s blocking me”!

It is my MIND, my EGO that doesn’t let me reach HER!

Then you may ask “Who can help you reaching her?”

I asked this question to myself, 1001 times.

And I got the same answer “It is ME and ONLY ME, who can help me!”

It is the ME within me, who can guide me to reach HER!

Then you may ask “What is blocking you, if you know the YOU within YOU can help you?”

I asked this question 1001 times, but this time, and still as of yet to get an answer!

Here I go, meditating upon myself to find the answer…

In the mean time, If you get the answer to my question, please do lemme know.

I love you,  Donna Lynne

ego!… Energy Gone Obscene! Part II

ego! Part I was all about the what and the why of the ego we all have. Part II is how to live and play nice with IT! 

The first step in playing nice with our egos is realizing it is part of us, but not us.  Ego is not who or what we are!  Truly we are Spiritual beings living a human experience and only have forgotten that fact, because the ego we acquired has hidden it from us. Hiding our true selves from us is the ego’s main mission and once that is realized it will start losing its grip and slowly fade into the background.

The trick or secret to making the ego fade away is the consistency of being aware as soon as possible when it acts up, which it does a lot and very subtly sometimes.  Luckily, we all come with  a PGS –  Personal Guidance System –  built in… our emotions’ feelings. Sometimes the guidance is a pleasant reminder to check your course and other times it will punch you in the face to let you know you are not on the right course.  This is where consistency plays a big role in keeping you from getting punched. You just have to be aware early enough of the pleasant reminders and adjust your attitude  immediately to prevent from getting to far out of whack or punched!  Anytime you are not feeling some form of love of yourself or anyone else, that is ego… Also having a negative thought is the ego and this is where it’s most effective to catch it before it gets out of hand.

When a negative thought suddenly appears in your head, just being  aware of it and knowing  it’s not you, but the  phantom self talking, weakens it.  The ego only has power when you believe you are the cause of  the thoughts. When we don’t blame ourselves for the negative thoughts we are having and then combine that with not blaming anyone else for what they are saying  to us, life becomes enjoyable to live. Now I know what you are thinking, if no one is to blame, then who is responsible?  We are all in a way responsible. There are consequences for all our our actions.  But it is only our own actions for which we are responsible.

What anyone else says or does is theirs to deal with, not ours to take personally, and better not to.  Negativity from anybody is purely a reflection of what’s going on in side of them. If they knew how not to be negative, they wouldn’t be!

We all have our own lives to live and the best thing we can all do, to live it well, is to consistently become aware of what the ego is saying to us, smile at it, let it be and re-focus on something that we feel good about.